Toilet Paper Puns

Toilet paper is a personal, awkward, and funny subject. If you’re ready for a good laugh, read hilarious toilet paper jokes that’ll have you rolling.

Toilet paper roll.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Toilet paper is an essential part of life and hygiene.

But it hasn’t always been around, as early humans used leaves, sticks, and moss.

In the late 1870s, toilet paper rolls with perforations became a staple.

Aside from being essential, it’s also a funny topic. Get a good laugh with the following toilet paper jokes.

Hilarious toilet paper jokes

1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

2. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

3. What’s the difference between wheat toast and toilet paper?

Wheat toast is brown on both sides.

4. Why don’t people like toilet paper jokes?

They’re tear-able.

5. How is life like a roll of toilet paper?

The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

6. Why did the toilet paper go to the bathroom?

It had TP.

Toilet paper on a holder.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

7. Why was the toilet paper winning many games in a row?

It was on a roll.

8. Why didn’t the toilet paper finish the marathon?

It was wiped out.

9. I’ve run out of toilet paper and begun using old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.

10. How does a toilet paper get a job?

A-ply for one.

11. Why did the police officer reach for the toilet paper?

He finished his duty.

12. What was the toilet paper waiting for after texting its friend?

A re-ply.

13. What do numbers and toilet paper have in common?

You can multi-ply both of them.

14. Where does toilet paper grow?

On toiletries.

15. Why can’t you find toilet paper at the store?

They’re wiped out.

16. Where does the Terminator find toilet paper?

Aisle B, back.

17. What’s a toilet paper’s favorite type of music?

Rock ’n’ Roll.

18. Why didn’t the police officers arrest the toilet paper thieves?

They kept patting them down, butt they were clean.

19. What do you call a nightmare about running out of toilet paper?

A crappy dream.

20. How do you get in touch with your inner self?

Use cheap toilet paper.

21. I bought Sudoku toilet paper.

Unfortunately, I can’t complete it. I can only fill it with ones and twos.

22. Why would toilet paper make an excellent detective?

It always gets to the bottom of things.

23. What happened to the toilet paper’s bank account?

It was wiped out.

24. What’s a toilet paper’s favorite bear?

Winnie the Pooh.

25. How does toilet paper deal with challenging situations?

They just roll with it.

26. What does toilet paper feel every day?

Deja poo.

Roll of toilet paper.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

27. What happened when toilet paper was stolen from the police station?

They had nothing to go on.

28. Why did the toilet paper come with balloons?

There was a birthday potty.

29. How can you tell if toilet paper was a sense of humor?

It cracks up in crappy situations.

30. What did one toilet paper say to the other?

You look a little flushed.

31. Why do kids take so much time in the restroom?

They play with the toy-let paper.

32. What’s the most toilet paper you can have?

A butt load.

33. What do you call extra-strong toilet paper?

Heavy doody.

34. What kind of toilet paper do porcupines love to use?

Quilted ones.

35. Who was the toilet paper looking pretty for?

Her Prince Charmin.

36. What kind of accident did the toilet paper get in?

It was rear-ended.

37. What did the toilet paper say after reading a Shakespeare play?

TP or not TP.

38. What does toilet paper say before a fight?

Square up.

39. What’s the hardest kind of math?

Toilet paper math. Which one is the cheapest?

40. What does Chamillionaire’s toilet paper say?

They see me rollin’.

41. We ran out of toilet paper and are now using lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow, romaines to be seen.

42. How does a toilet paper monster look?


43. What does the toilet paper do at the club?

Tear up the dance floor.

44. What do you call a person that invests in toilet paper start-ups?

A venture crap-italist.

Toilet paper roll.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

45. What time does toilet paper go to work?


46. How does toilet paper feel after being used?


47. What’s a toilet paper’s favorite tool?


48. What’s a toilet paper’s favorite store?


49. What kind of tents does toilet paper use to go camping?

A TP tent.

50. What do you call an unrealistic toilet paper concept?

A ply in the sky.

51. Why does toilet paper follow rules?

To be com-ply-ant.

52. When do you use toilet paper?

Af-tear you go.

53. What did the next toilet paper square say?

It’s just a mat-tear of time.

Toilet paper roll.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

54. What kind of dance does toilet paper like to do?

Square dance.

55. What do you call unused toilet paper?


56. What does toilet paper do in its free time?

Read li-tear-ature.

57. What do you call defective toilet paper?

A disas-tear.

Related: Funny Tomato Puns Too Juicy to Skip

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.